Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Pt. IV - Decisions, Decisions

I'm intrigued by the wording of today's prompt; "what was the wisest decision you made this year?"  Unless I'm reading too much into the language (something I do often and with great pleasure), the prompt asks not for the best, favorite, most impactful, or most important decision, but the one most informed by learning, the most thoughtful one.  In some ways, this distinction makes the prompt more difficult.  In some ways, it makes it easier.

The wisest decision I made this year was not a deliberate one.  There is not a time I can point to as "the moment" when the decision was made, nor a place where I can recall making it.  The decision came about gradually as all learned behavior does; a pyramid of experiences forever under construction.  My wisest decision this year was trying to silence expectation.

This is not to say that I no longer hypothesize or act without foresight.  I'm not "Yes Man."  I still observe the laws of cause and effect.  I still fall victim to my romantic notions of the future from time to time.  I still feel crippled by financial restraints, sometimes to the point of embarrassment.  But I have gotten better about redesigning my thought process so that when I make a decision, it's less about an intended outcome and more about an internal sense of right.

Guided by this wisdom, I no longer see going out with a friends as a means to do something awesome.  Experiences that begin with such preconceived notions often end up hackneyed or hyperbolized to the point of delusion.  I go out with friends because I enjoy being with them, and I trust that their companionship is meaningful.  I find I'm rarely disappointed.  Similarly, I don't anticipate my workday before heading to the preschool.  Some days are truly wonderful.  Other days are terrible.  But no matter how upset I get, I never feel robbed or wronged.  I know the work is right for me, and I find value in it.  I believe in balance.  I believe in symmetry.

This "decision" owes just as much to my good fortune in friends, family, upbringing, and environment as it does to my ability to internalize experiences (and a shout out to Benjamin Hoff, author of The Tao of Pooh).  My decision was a privileged one, and I am thankful simply to have been able to make it.  It has afforded me a far less stressful life than I had previously known.  And I wish the same to you.

This post is part of Think Kit by Small Box
Today's post was: "What was the wisest decision you made this year?"

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